Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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