i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
