somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
