I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
