Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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