Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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