I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I would fuck him just for his dog
how does that bad decision feel?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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