their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
