Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize