Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
