Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
