so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just threw up on my dentist
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
