ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish you could order shots online.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize