your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
