and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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