dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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