whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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