I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
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Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.