Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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