I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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