OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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