just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
