Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
