There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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