my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize