nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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