yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
