sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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