singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
