Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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