i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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