too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
