PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
