Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize