all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
