No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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