just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
