It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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