Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
