if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
