Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'd cum for enchiladas.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
