I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
