i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize