TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
