Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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