Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
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I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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