foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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