where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
