If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
