I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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