just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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