I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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