Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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