i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Farmville is her only friend.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
