I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
