I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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