There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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