so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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