To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
