if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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